Deconstruction and Healing

ART THERAPY
Written By Mandy Proskovec, LMSW
Deconstruction and Healing

Leaving a faith tradition or beginning to question long-held beliefs can feel like standing on shifting ground. One moment you may feel relief and freedom, the next you may feel grief, guilt, or fear. This process is often called deconstruction—taking apart the beliefs you were given so you can see what still fits and what no longer does (LifeSpring Counseling, n.d.).

For many people, deconstruction is not just about theology. It’s about identity, belonging, and trust. If faith shaped your family life, your friendships, or your sense of morality, questioning it can feel like you’re losing more than just a belief system. You might feel like you’re losing yourself (Counseling Today, 2022).

Why Deconstruction Feels So Hard

Deconstruction and Healing

Deconstruction can bring up a mix of emotions. Relief that you no longer have to force yourself into beliefs that harmed you. Grief for the community or certainty you’ve lost. Anger at the harm caused. Fear that you’re making a mistake and that you’ll be punished for questioning.

All of these feelings are normal. Your nervous system has likely been trained for years to equate safety with compliance. Stepping away is bound to feel threatening, even when your mind knows it’s the right choice (Therapist.com, n.d.).

Tips for Navigating Deconstruction

While everyone’s journey is different, here are a few things that can help (LifeSpring Counseling, n.d.):

  • Give yourself permission to grieve. Leaving a faith community can feel like losing family, even if that family was complicated. Allow space for sadness as well as relief.

  • Notice the inner critic. Many people carry an internal voice that warns them they’re being “rebellious” or “sinful.” Try to notice that voice without judgment. It’s usually the echo of old conditioning, not your true self.

  • Seek out safe community. Deconstruction can be lonely. Whether it’s online spaces, support groups, or friendships with others who understand, connection is essential for healing.

  • Explore your values. As you step away from imposed beliefs, you get to ask: what do I care about? What feels meaningful to me? Let curiosity guide you.

  • Practice grounding. Simple practices like deep breathing, journaling, or time in nature can help calm the body when fear or guilt rises up.

The Healing Side of Deconstruction

Deconstruction isn’t about tearing everything down and leaving nothing in its place. It’s about creating room to rebuild in a way that feels authentic. Some people find they still connect with certain spiritual practices, while others discover meaning through creativity, relationships, or nature. There is no single right way forward.

Healing happens when you begin trusting yourself again—when you can make choices based on your values instead of fear. It’s a slow process, but it’s also a deeply empowering one (Counseling Today, 2022).

A Final Word

If you’re in the middle of deconstruction, you don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to feel conflicted. And you’re allowed to build a life that is free, authentic, and rooted in your own voice.

Mandy Proskovec, LMSW
My background

I am a Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW) in Texas, and my path into this work has been shaped as much by life experience as by formal training. I’ve worked in mental health for over a decade including private practice, supporting people through seasons of loss, trauma, and change. Along the way, I’ve trained in EMDR and DBT-informed skills. I am certified in Religious Trauma and love working with attachment/relational trauma and parts work. At the heart of my practice is a relational and psychodynamic approach. That means I pay attention not only to the skills and tools that help in the moment, but also to the deeper patterns and stories that shape how you experience yourself and your relationships. 

My view on counseling

I believe therapy is a place to slow down and truly feel seen. Many of us carry burdens from early relationships, faith communities, or past experiences that leave us feeling disconnected, unworthy, or “too much.” In counseling, we will work together to make sense of those patterns and create space for healing. My role is not to “fix” you, but to walk alongside you, offering steadiness, curiosity, and compassion as you reconnect with your values and discover new ways of being with yourself and others.

My specialties

  • Healing from trauma and PTSD, including attachment and religious trauma

  • Grief and anticipatory loss

  • Anxiety, depression, and shame

  • Parenting challenges and intergenerational patterns

  • Chronic stress, illness, and caregiver burnout

  • Life transitions, identity development, and meaning-making,

  • LGBTQIA+ affirming

  • Serving teens (13 and up) and Adults

Next

Understanding Religious Trauma